How does each day feel like a multitude of days all wrapped into one? Every three hours feels like it's own day full of it's own seperate triumphs and trials.
Right now on Pandora- Philip Wesley playing 'Tears of the East'. Solo Pianist. I like.
I went to sleep I think around 11 p.m. or so last night. I didn't wake up until around 11 a.m. and that was only by my mother's gentle prodding. It's like I never quite get enough sleep. I feel constantly half awake. Sometimes like I'm standing behind or beside myself.
That being said, at around 1 p.m. I got it into my head to make a foray into independance!
Yesterday I *liked* Redbox on my facebook page. Well, that gave me a code that would work only today for a free movie at Redbox. Knowing there is a redbox less than a mile away at a 7-11, I decided I was going to go MYSELF, and get this movie.
The perfect timing of this? Mom was in the shower and couldn't stop me :P I let her know I was going and what I was doing of course, to just charge out the door would have been SO horrible. I did a similar move to my sister on our road trip from Texas to Washington. After our wonderful (said with sarcasm) interaction with the local police in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, we stayed a couple of nights in Albuquerque. The choice was a hard one, because it put us so far behind in our travel schedule (which we were already behind), but to be in a small space with both of us having tension and frustration and anger and confusion, not necessarily at each other but about all of the circumstances, just was not an option.
So, what I'm saying is I took off while Tana was in the shower and drove the car to the gas station kitty corner across the street. I knew it was a bad move when I did it, and the moment Tana showed up at the gas station as I looked through all the cd's and different souvenirs, my knowledge was confirmed. And seeing as how I have no wish for someone that I love, and that loves me, to actually kill me, I won't do it again.
So, I let my mom know, but didn't give her the option to stop me, and I took off with Kai. I left my walker at home. Can you believe it?
The only walking I had to do was to the car, then from the car immediately in front of it to the Redbox, and then back to the car, and then back into the house. It was only the equivalent of me going from my bed, to the bathroom and back, and from my bed to the kitchen and back. As much as that doesn't seem like a lot, to me, it's HUGE. To walk without my walker? I was ECSTATIC!
I wanted to celebrate by picking up taco bell for mom and I while I was out, but for some reason when I get in the driver seat, I can't remember where anything is and I just end up getting lost. So before I got lost, I just decided to stop at Wendy's and get myself some fries and a burger. "The Baconator!" Single, and a coca-cola. As it turns out, if I had made the corner, and gone down the road a little further, I would have made it to the Taco Bell *sigh* but oh well.
I made it home and shared my triumph with mom, made it to my bed and laid down. I could only enjoy half of the burger before I was stuffed, and not even a quarter of my french fries. Kai enjoyed the majority of the rest of my burger, Qari getting her fair share, and Fizzle taking her sweet time eating a small piece of bacon.
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I'm still in bed right now. I want to get up and go to the kitchen and make one of the frozen dinners or cut up some peppers or something- I think I'm out of carrot sticks. Not the point. I just don't want to get up again. As good as it felt to get up and out, I still need to really learn to accurately judge what I can do and respect those limits.
That doesn't make it suck any less.
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So I did just get up. I made myself a couple of soft taco sized salad wraps. Of course once again I make more than I can eat. *sigh* Wasn't I JUST talking about respecting my limits? That was a fail.
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Something is happening with my skin over the last hour. It is itching but pain prickly. I've got a couple large welts, and it's kind of blistery just like as if I had gone out and about in the sunshine in Texas. It's rashy around my upper chest. Almost five hours later and it's not feeling much better. The prickly itching has maintained, though I haven't noticed anymore welts or blister-like-things. Could have been because I was on the phone and completely distracted.
And doing my taxes. *face palm* See, I can multitask! I can be on the phone having a great meaningful comversation with one of my best friends, be completely mindfogged, and file my taxes all at the same time. During the conversation I was talking about firing my psychiatrist after he told me I acted stupid. I'm beginning to think there just MIGHT be some truth to that statement. *ponders* No, nevermind. Just kidding, on a serious note of course I do stupid things, that doesn't mean I need someone I'm looking for validation and support from to tell me how stupid I am after he previously tells me that I need to get a life.
This skin thing is driving me up a wall. It is almost 11:30 p.m. and it hasn't gotten any better. I also have been able to feel some sort of lump on the right side of the base of my neck that is painful. Hopefully it is just muscular. I have tried meditating but can't relax my shoulders or neck. I'm not sure exactly what to do besides wait for my mom to get home.
Talking to my sister I came upon the perfect analogy of how to describe the prickly skin feeling. It's like when you have a blister that is popped, and you rub the skin over it. Literally that is what it feels like. Which I suppose it makes sense since apparently I did describe earlier that I was having blister-like things.
==== What kind of sad life writes a blog over the time period of a full day?
I did though, finish my taxes. Which is a HUGE relief! But I swear, if I have to read anything else about credits or deductibles? I'm likely to self-implode. That is NOT an open invitation to attempt to make me self-implode. *glare*
My EFFING NECK. *bitch moan complain*
$1500 back on my taxes. Think I'm going to ask the hubbs whether he wants to put $1000 into the trust fund, or whether he wants to split it directly in half to use as we wish. I know I wouldn't mind having $750 in my pocket. I have no idea what I would buy with it, but I know I wouldn't mind having it, and it would definitely get spent. Somehow.
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Nothing better than watcing George Lopez make a hilarious joke, and get nothing but crickets. *giggle* Damn. And then he has to make another hilarious joke that makes me like him again. *sigh* Oh, he lost me again! Hurray! Now quick change the channel before he makes another absolutely idiotic joke.
White Chicks? While the Wayans in drag is always delightful, I'm going to pass.
Manswers? Whether they're answering questions about tits or... tits... I don't think there is a tit joke in the world that could make my neck feel better. This pain is quickly becoming a serious issue.
Nancy Grace? I have no wish to become suicidal.
Oo! Man vs. Wild? Didn't he use a sheep carcass to make a sleeping bag? I'll pass.
1 Girl 5 Gays! WHAT THE HELL wAS THAT? I just watched 5 gay guys argue whether they would rather have sex with Jim Carrey or Mickey Rourke. Shoot me. CHange it! Change It! .. after all we all know that Jim Carrey is the real catch there... psh..
How did I end up back at George Lopez? We're going from worrying about becoming suicidal to worrying about becoming homicidal. I joke.
I WILL NOT KILL PEOPLE.
I WILL NOT KILL PEOPLE.
I WILL NOT KILL PEOPLE.
I WILL NOT... *oops*
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