March 7th, 2011
This weekend I received a noticed from the Municipal Court of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. It is a summons to appear in court on the fifteenth of March, to explain why I did not appear in court on the 24th of February. I can explain that right now.
I had absolutely no idea I was supposed to BE in court on the 24th.
I have been waiting for weeks for a notice of some sort for a court date that I knew was going to come, but I have not received anything whatsoever. Well, until this notice. Oh yeah, and I cannot leave state when I have IV infusions every 8 hours for Meningitis.
"So what are you going to do Maria?" I don't have any effing clue. Mom looked online on legalzoom, and of course there were no matches for my case. Go figure. I should call JAG, but there is just a huge part of me that doesn't want to deal with JAG. I'm so... scared of them.
Stupid I know, but it's true. Plus I don't want to have to drive all the way down to Ft. Lewis. I don't want a lot of things, but I guess what I want is pretty much out of the question anyways so I better just buck up for this one.
I mean seriously, I'm being charged with a misdemeanor for flipping someone the bird and calling her a crazy fucking bitch after she freaks out on us (Tana and Myself) for parking in a handicap parking spot (which I happen to have a permit for) in the Wal-Mart parking lot of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. She was completely the aggressor, but of course because SHE happened to be an off-duty police officer, I'm up shit creek without a paddle.
Can we say abuse of power? Come on, say it with me! "A-bee-yoos uh-f Pow-wer"
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On another note, I am at home. I came home on Saturday after going to Radiology to receive a PICC line. A PICC line is actually a "Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter". Basically it is an IV that reaches to your heart. The difference between the one I have and a normal PICC line, is that regularly a PICC line would be placed in a person's arm. Mine, however, is placed right under my collar-bone in the subclavian vein. This is because the chemotherapy and bone marrow transplant have pretty much screwed my arm veins and none of them were viable to put a line through.
So they sent me home Saturday, and set me up with a home-health nurse. She came to the house at about 8:30 p.m. Saturday night and showed me how to use this IV system. She also brought with her all of the IV medications I would need until today when my Monday nurse would be here.
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Today my nurse *D showed up at 10:30 a.m. She took my vitals, drew blood, and went through the check of systems. Then she chit-chatted with us for a little while and went on her way.
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OH! Yesterday mom and I went and ran a bunch of errands, and I ended up buying girl scout cookies, and as a birthday gift to myself I also bought the new Pokemon game, White version as well as the official strategy guide. So far I am greatly enjoying it, and it has let me escape reality WONDERFULLY.
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The problem with all of this happening right on top of each other, is that my emotional response becomes out of control. For whatever reason, I can't keep myself together. I become extremely agitated and defensive.
I hate that I am putting so much on mom's plate. I know that we are working together on this, but so much is being put on her plate, because of the fact that I can't seem to hold it together. She recognizes it though, and knows that I would take control of it if I could. It feels like such a load of crack considering I seem to be able to type about it calmly, but it's like watching myself. I can't stop it when it starts happening, and it's like my mind goes somewhere else and some other part of me takes over spitting out venom in all directions.
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I woke up at 10:26 p.m. After mom left for work I couldn't keep my eyes open. My 2 p.m. infusion just put me to sleep. It was SO hard to stay awake until the end of it. I fell asleep repeatedly, and am so thankful for my alarm.
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